Crawl

What are all the crocagator movies? Alligator, Primeval, Lake Placid. I keep hearing about Rogue, but can’t place it, though I’m fairly certain I saw it in the theater. Much like this afternoon’s Crawl.

So, in short: it’s nothing but fun. Anybody see Hurricane Heist? It’s got that feel. Just, with monsters. So, with no hesitation, yeah, I recommend this one.

Doesn’t mean there’s nothing I’d dial a little bit this way or that way, though. Allow me to back-seat write a moment? And, warning, warning, many spoilers ahead. So, knowing that, here’s what I’d do:

→ first, since this is horror, it needs a blood sacrifice, yes? I’d start at the alligator farm, of course. some tourist or worker falls in, gets chomped by this big gator some wrangler just delivered, and then somebody ELSE says, “Man, rain’s coming on hard, yeah? Hope this pen holds,” something like that, at which point THEN cut to swim practice, proceed as-is, get that emotional father/daughter arc going

→ consider just one alligator, maybe? I’m a big fan of one instead of two, or fourteen. Or, maybe, one BIG one, then a few hangers-on? Because this father and daughter DO need to kill one each, I’d say.

→ the dagger-twist at the end, just because, again, this is horror. so, at the end, they’re on the roof, the rescue copter’s hovering, lowering a gurney-cage thing, and everybody’s safe because . . . alligators don’t go on roofs? My suggestion is the big gator stomach-slides up, chomps the dad, takes him back into the drink. I mean, it’s kind of ridiculous this guy hasn’t bled out (or plain ‘pained out’) by now anyway, yeah? Some serious and likely-mortal injuries, there. So, IF the movie’s now somehow getting to START with blood, then why not let it END with blood too, yes? This allows the father that fantasy all fathers wish for, where they get to sacrifice themselves for their kids, go down fighting in full view, all that, AND it sets up a possible sequel, if this one does good enough.

→ as FOR that sequel: waters are receding, and, lo and behold the big gator’s still in its pen? What? Though it does cough up a shoe. But the gator farm hides this, hides this, and now he’s going to go on chomping, deeper and deeper into franchise territory . . .